Well, it’s official. Kanye West is running for the office of President of the United States and 2020 is truly the year that memes reached their dankest potential.
Early on in Trump’s campaign, we noted some scary similarities between his presidential bid and that of wannabe POTUS Kanye West. But in the wake of the increasing bigotry, racism and straight-up batshit fuckery that’s categorised Trump’s garbage fire stint in the White House, we can’t help but feel like Yeezy would make a much better preezy after all, and we’ve listed a few reasons why.
1. He’s a better businessman
The Donald’s businesses have declared bankruptcy more than four times, while Kanye West was able to slap a nutso US$ 120 price tag on a line of plain white T-shirts and watch them sell out fkn instantly. Up yours, Trump Steaks! (RIP)
2. He “has the best words”
Despite Trump’s braggadocios boast that he “knows words” and “has the best words”, Ye — as a professional wordsmith with one of the biggest vocabularies in the music industry — undoubtedly has better ones.
3. He owns up to his mistakes & is (at least slightly) less misogynistic
As the saying goes, it takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong. And that’s something that Trump pretty much never does. The Combover King even refused to apologise for his vom-worthy “grab ’em by the pussy” comments, instead fobbing the whole thing off as mere “locker room talk”. Yeezy on the other hand — despite his occasional Trump-like displays of egomania — at least has the self-awareness and humility to reflect on, and learn from, his mistakes. The rap mogul has openly admitted to not respecting women as much as he should have in the past, and reckons The Kardashians have taught him a thing or two about feminism. Whether or not that’s actually true, at least he can still pronounce Beyoncé’s name right FFS.
4. He wants to stop racially motivated violence
While in the face of escalating racial tensions in the US — where police violence against black Americans has finally reached breaking point following the murder of unarmed black man George Floyd — Donald Trump has only fuelled the fire, blasting the Black Lives Matter movement, accusing it of helping instigate police killings and telling its supporters: “If black lives matter, then go back to Africa. We’ll see how much they matter there.”
Whereas Yeezy has openly expressed solidarity with the campaign to end violence and police discrimination against African Americans, while his wife Kim K has penned an emotional and legitimately intelligent essay on the subject, writing:
“The last thing we need is to fuel anger with more hate of violence, especially toward the many incredible police officers who risk their lives every single day to protect our families and communities. We must peacefully use the power of our voices and the strength of our numbers to demand changes in the judicial system so that brutality doesn’t ever go unpunished.”
5. He has a way better relationship with China
Donald Trump has a well-documented beef with China, having demonised the country so often over the course of his election campaign that the internet has gifted us with a dedicated megamix:
Yeezy, however, spent a year of his childhood living in China, and has frequently travelled there in his adult life to work on his sneaker line.
Kanye West graduating Year 5 in China. Picture: Coleman Rayner
6. It would easily result in the best season of The Kardashians ever
OK, so most of us aren’t about this show. But The Kardashians – White House Edition? Shit, who wouldn’t watch that?
KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS SEASON 427: WHITE HOUSE EDITION pic.twitter.com/siqzxArlfG
— Brody Foxx (@BrodyFoxx) September 4, 2015
7. White House parties would be off chops
As well as (hopefully?) splashing out more funding for the arts than nuclear weapons, we’d also like to think that — instead of building a giant wall to keep Mexico out — music lover Yeezy would instead build a giant floating stage outside The White House and use it to throw huge presidential parties, concerts and festies (once the COVID pandemic is in the rear-view, of course).
8. He’s not Donald Trump
The biggest selling point. Bring on #Yeezy2020